ONYX BUN FOR PRESIDENT!
ONYX BUN - LOUIE MINLOP
Presidential Campaign, 2005
Go Directly to Page Index (Below)
You asked for it - you've got it!
Print your own ONYX FOR PRESIDENT poster by clicking on the thumbnail. Put posters on your walls, bulletin boards, front yard... Tell the Democrats and Republicans that you are tired of their rich, spoiled, snob, Ivy League candidates who haven't got a clue about what it means to be a Tax Paying American working for "the man" every day. DEMAND SOMETHING BETTER! Click here for your Onyx For President Poster (This is a large graphic - slow.)
Yes, thanks for the suggestion... Readers have requested a car window or locker-sized version of the now infamous Onyx for President 2000 poster. Click here for your Click here for Onyx For President Compact Poster
ON OCTOBER 30TH, 1999, THE WORLD'S HOPEFUL CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE 2000 CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCED VIA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW TO VIRTUALPATH'S ROCKY MOUNTAIN COMPOST NEWS REPORTERS THAT HE SHALL ACCEPT NOMINATION FOR THE 2000 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN AS THE LAPIN PARTY'S PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.
WHILE THE WORLD WAS INITIALLY STUNNED WITH THE MAGNANIMOUS ACCEPTANCE, THE ONYX FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN MANAGER, SNICKERS GRUMP, BEGAN PREPARATIONS FOR WHAT MAY BE THE BLOWOUT CAMPAIGN OF HISTORY.
FOR THE LAPIN PARTY, VIRTUALPATH QUICKLY DONATED INTERNET SERVER ACCESS TO ONYX AND HIS CAMPAIGN STAFF. VIRTUALPATH WILL BE THE HOME SITE FOR THE ONYX FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN UNTIL ONYX ACCEPTS THE OATH OF PRESIDENCY ON BEHALF OF THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES.
While the people of the United States are celebrating jubilantly, Virtualpath hopes that the other candidates do not flatly give up the race because of this turn of events. Competition is healthy and vital for such an important event, even when it's otherwise useless. The Onyx For President Campaign specifically offers Best Wishes (almost) to Junior, the rich guy, the fellow with the black hair (what was his name?), the guy who thinks he invented the Internet, any actors or wrestlers, and anyone else who may be flogging themselves in futility to compete against Onyx in this campaign. Good Luck, guys!
Last Campaign Page Update - June, 2000
Here's our candidate, who really needs no introduction...
"Smarter, Cuter and Honest!"
The Campaign Platform
1) Smarter than the other candidates!
2) Very cute. Far cuter than the other candidates!
3) Honest. That leaves the others out.
4) A "clean" campaign - NO MUDSLINGING! We will not mention the amoral, lying, thieving competitors or their putrid sexual escapades, drug deals, campaign payoffs, etc., unless specifically asked about them.
5) Lower taxes, better education, less government!
6) Onyx would be our first Black president!
7) Like Abe Lincoln, a bachelor. No leftovers from office to run in the New York Senate race! (Abraham Lincoln wasn't really bachelor, but who's to know?)
8) News leaks about Whitehouse liaisons could start new Television dating shows, instead of being national embarrassments!
Pre-Election Press Releases and Events
1) Debates, November, 1999
ROCKY MOUNTAIN COMPOST NEWS EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Onyx will not join other candidates in debates. Onyx explained that it's really pointless to debate such stupidity and waste good prime-time TV to do so.BACK TO INDEX
2) Privacy, December, 1999
RMCN REPORT: When asked about his view concerning personal privacy issues over the Internet, Onyx stated that he doesn't intend to run a government which sues software companies just because they refuse to build back doors into their networks so that the NSA can spy on U.S. citizens.
"How about this - you've got swarms of government aircraft circling above your back yard for eighteen hours a day like berserker lawnmowers with spy cameras to watch what you do and when you do it. What privacy? Do you want some privacy back, because you don't have any now. Your government has gone out of control. I'll fix that."
3) Farm Aid, December 1999
RMCN REPORT: Farm lands which are sallow (unplanted) need grasses to protect topsoil from erosion. Onyx indicated his opinion that hay crops should always be planted on otherwise unplanted farm acreage. He also suggested that personal gardens of carrots and other vegetables should also be required on such land.BACK TO INDEX
4) World Trade Organization (WTO), December, 1999
RMCN REPORT: The Lapin Party opposes WTO developments as a staunch political platform of the party. According to Onyx, WTO directives are intended to support the "One World Government" or "New World Order" virtualization of economic "states" - extensions of the Euro-American economic alliances. Virtual states include Taiwan, Singapore, China, potentially Korea, and a dozen pre-existing areas where massive loan incentives and foreign investment have created manufacturing which competes against domestic manufacturing in durable goods markets.
Onyx stated that the December riots against the WTO in Seattle seemed to miss the point, at least as far as media coverage reported the events, although the pain of Americans burdened with past policies stemming from "New World Order" treaties was apparent.
According to Onyx, virtual state economics expects to force countries who wish to reap economic riches into our "modern" world of global politics. This idea is an extension of MacArthur's retraining of Japan, but it fails for several reasons. Japan has pride in accomplishment and success by individuals, in aggregate, in a country where respect for individuals and property is vital. Japan is a small island with lots of people. Japan cannot pollute their own country without destroying themselves. Japan cannot escape externalities of the cost of obtaining or consuming resources. For example, if a hidden (external) cost of producing something results in heavy metal contamination of a stream, this cost rapidly returns to confront the polluter of the small Japanese mainland. Basically, if they flush something, it doesn't go far away. So the real costs of living in Japan; land value, cleanliness and pollution issues, cannot be avoided. Cost-of-living expenses are extremely high. The investment in education to secure future technology is part of their real costs which has been and is being paid in Japan.
Into this economic mix, add countries where the cost of living and life itself are cheap. -Places where the price of infrastructure (tax rate) is insignificant. No one worries about the problems associated with flushing a toilet, if there are toilets, or how to pay for their mortgages, or the real cost of ripping a giant hole in the countryside to extract raw materials, or the cost to undo environmental pollution damage after processing those materials.
Following WTO-style trade agreements, U.S. (+Japan and European industrial nations) manufacturing and citizens are faced with goods arriving from virtual state trading partners, with these implications: 1) The barrier-to-entry costs to manufacture a particular item have been eliminated by U.S. government-guaranteed bank loans, which the American public has to pay for. 2) No environmental impact studies are expected or required. 3) No "business" licenses or taxes are required in the foreign country. 4) Special "trade status" import duties (none, usually) allow the items to be imported with minimum or no taxes. 5) The workers do not have education, mortgage or other life-debts to their banks. The workers don't pay property or income taxes. No insurance is provided for worker health. 6) If an industry is growing, they can pollute all they want. Usually, the government would be happy to kill off a third or more of their overpopulation with pollution. Reactor leak? Who cares? 7) Workers can and will work for a few dollars per day. They generally don't owe for education, cars, houses, or taxes of any kind. They can live on fifteen dollars per week.
Economic destruction results when technology from the country who paid to create it is exported, without payment for it (illegal campaign contributions don't count), to another country where the costs of manufacturing are insignificant. Manufacturing costs include labor, taxes, pollution costs, raw materials, power, infrastructure and technology. In the U.S., the cost of creating the technology which is going to let five thousand elementary-school level workers produce electronic microchips includes past, current and future education and living costs for the people who created that technology. When the artificially underpriced components arrive, those foreign businesses no longer support the survival of the skilled workers and businesses that created the technology. That means that the people who chose to train in that field are dumped out of it by our own government's trade policy. Not only are our own industries and their skilled trades destroyed by this, but this kind of perverted economics policy leaves the industry ransacked for future innovation.
Favored trade policies which allow dilution of a skilled workforce by massive immigration of people who do not have an investment in the infrastructure or values of a country, have a similar effect for similar reasons.
It's vital to understand that a particular domestic industry will be forced to purchase foreign supplies to compete when cheap products begin to arrive. Other domestic manufacturers fail, the PhDs go to work for a fast food chains, and money progressively steamrolls out of the country to the demise of industry itself and its labor force. That country will become dependent and weakened.
A government which steals and exports money and technology from its own industry and people will destroy their future for a quick, economic "boom" as the cheap products begin to arrive. According to candidate Onyx, the real cost of the WTO "Golden Egg" policy is the death of the goose.
Onyx promises to provide government funding of all WTO protesters, after he is elected.BACK TO INDEX
5) Taxes, December, 1999 [Question: Do you support lower taxes on individuals and higher taxes on business.]
ONYX: Did you just fall off the boat or something? Even a rabbit knows that a business requires X dollars to keep the doors open, and that's what they'll get until the doors close. If government requires an environmental study, a bigger highway leading to the company gates, more expensive groundskeeping or "fees" and taxes for government to monitor, regulate or study something, increased costs of the product and reduced payments to employees will have to eat the burden of government's extorted fees.
People pay these costs. Only people pay taxes. They pay it in reduced earnings, higher prices for goods and in lost industry and wages to foreign manufacturers.
If you impose a highway tax on transportation, people pay for all of it. Business taxes - people - workers - citizens pay. Value added tax - people pay. Hidden social security taxes that "business has to pay" - people pay for all of it. Legal fees for business - the people pay. No one but citizens pay for any of the costs of industry, and the burden of government, no matter what fake name is placed on it or who it supposedly effects, only people pay.
I support an income tax only. Property taxes remove the property of people who have worked their life to pay off their homes. Property tax means that your home is never really your home - you have to rent it from the government for government's extortion fee or they will take it away from you.
When we have only income tax, we'll set it for a 90% flat tax rate initially. That will give you twice your current buying power of five cents on the dollar. Without the hundreds of taxes piled on top of consumer goods, communications, labor and transportation, a loaf of bread will cost about seven cents.
The real cost of government will become apparent to every worker in America, something which is now carefully obscured by hidden, redundant taxes at this time. Eventually, Americans should buck the obese jackass of government off their backs and take control of it again.BACK TO INDEX
6) Our constitution sets age and citizenship requirements for presidents. Is Onyx qualified to run? - December, 1999
SNICKERS GRUMP: Recent court rulings concerning age discrimination have been largely applied to discrimination against older people, even though their application to old age v/s youth is not precisely defined. The intent of this law is to provide opportunity whenever the seeker is qualified, without regard to age, race or other things. Clearly, a qualified candidate who was of a native species in America long before humans squirmed through the grass cannot be discriminated against based on age. And citizenship is automatically granted for natives. Incidentally, I'm not sure that America's rabbits ever accepted humans as "Americans" - perhaps humans aren't qualified to run for the office.
7) But you and Onyx are rabbits! - December, 1999
SNICKERS GRUMP: Is that a question? Yes, we're cute little bunnies, or "people" as we call ourselves. And you are... not really people, but we'll let that pass.
8) Running debates - December, 1999
ONYX: The other candidates refuse to acknowledge that I am running. SOUR GRAPES! They are loosing, in spite of the turned heads, tongues-up-their-cheeks and VOTE.COM's failure to list me as a presidential candidate. Why would they behave that way? -Probably due to inherent bad manners.BACK TO INDEX
9) More candidate Drug Use allegations - December, 1999
RMCN REPORT: During the week prior to Christmas, 99, A.P. and other wire and news services around the country reported continuing allegations against several candidates for crimes of drug abuse. This has no effect on ONYX as a candidate other than to support the Lapin Party's position that ONYX is the people's only real choice for a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE who is NOT a SCUMBALL.
10) What's the deal about the 2000/2001 confusion? - December, 1999
SNICKERS GRUMP: There does seem to be some confusion about the difference. For instance, Y2K refers to the Year 2000. The calendar date of the new millennium and the 21st century actually do not begin until January 1st, 2001. While ONYX's campaign will run during the year 2000, his presidency will take effect on January 1st, 2001, with the consequent eviction of the dirtbag who is currently buried in the Whitehouse like a tick on a hound.
11) You intend to run a fast, dirty, little campaign, don't you? - December, 1999
ONYX: Perhaps you should know that the noble Lagomorph, or rabbits [and hares} are the cleanest mammals on earth. Living in burrows with a community of other rabbits, individual bunnies must constantly groom and clean themselves and their fellow bunnies. The community cannot afford to shelter a sick or dirty rabbit. We are pure vegetarians and we cannot metabolize flesh from dead carcasses. And bunnies are VERY fast! As far as the campaign, the truth is not dirty. And while I'm just a little person, I'm much larger than a ladybug. So I don't think that your question is relevant.BACK TO INDEX
12) What do you think about Hillary Clinton's aspirations for a N.Y. senate seat? - December, 1999
SNICKERS GRUMP: Well, ... ha, ha, Hardy, har, har, TEE HEE, HA HA HO HO, OH PLEASE STOP! It's hard to ASPIRATE when you ask questions like that... HA HAR HAR!!! MY EARS ARE GONNA' FLY OFF!!! HA HA!!!
13) Do you believe that Al Gore is the inventor of the Internet? - December, 1999
ONYX: That depends on what your definition of "is" is. If your "is" is like President Clinton's "is," then he could be, but I can't recall this for sure. Don't you mean "recollect," Mr. President, I mean, Mr. Bun? Only Radical Right Wing Conservatives, trying to entrap a rabbit, would force-feed terms like that to persecute a president, I mean, a bunny rabbit. It's Christmas, after all. What has that got to do with anything? What has a president's candid assurances to the People of the United States got to do with anything, particularly fine points of definitions or truth in general? Do you want someone who isn't a snake for President? CHOOSE THE BUNNY! What about Al Gore and the Internet? Do you suppose that Joe, Curly or Mo invented quantum physics? A year ago Al Gore couldn't spell "Internet." Come to think of it, a year ago Al Gore may not have been able to spell "Al."
14) This week, George Bush was asked who he believed was the best politician of all time. His answer, "Jesus," upset many and resulted in an apology from the governor. Who do you think is the best politician of all time? - December, 1999
ONYX: If "politician" means liar and thief, like the people have come to expect, then William Jefferson Clinton tops them all. It's a wonder than Bush wasn't stoned to death. (Actually, he likes to get stoned, doesn't he?)
15) Of the other presidential candidates, who do you think would make the best president? - December, 1999
ONYX: Fine politicians, all... Maybe we'd better just go with the rabbit.BACK TO INDEX
Campaign Notes for January - May, 2000
From January through March, 2000, America has seen the campaign issues and campaigners sorted out through the primary election process, but citizen participation has been at an all-time low.
The BBC's coverage included an article named, The United States of Apathy? America's dismal voter participation has been analyzed by political parties, campaign directors and corporations without even scratching the truth of America's apathetic response to elections, at least, not a truth which they are willing to publish.
Like nearly all Americans, we, too, are sickened by the pitiful selection of candidates running on the tired and corrupt two-party tickets. We want an American for U.S. President. We desperately seek a candidate who won't sell America to its enemies or allow the continuance of massive flows of foreign nationals without ties or loyalty to the cost of purchasing America's freedom. When we go to work, we don't want to have our employers sneer at the investment of skills that we offer by presenting a dozen non-citizens who are willing to take our jobs at half the pay, but can't even speak our language. When we go home each day, Americans don't want to find out how terribly their personal liberty and freedoms have been wounded by corrupt legislative laws, no-knock raids, more taxes, or National Security laws which destroy the security and privacy of our own citizens.
When was it that America was condemned to have nothing but slimy, thieving, spoiled, snob lawyers from the Ivy League schools presume to run for our public offices? Perhaps the entire process is so corrupt now that we can't get anyone other than a slimy lawyer to run for political office. Where's the candidate from America's countryland who has rough hands and knows what it takes to make ends meet to feed a family?
If a wrestler were running for President in this election, it's very likely that he/she could take the popular vote simply because there's a much better chance that the wrestler could understand and represent Americans than yet another millionaire lawyer politician raised with a taxpayer-paid silver spoon stuck in his chubby, little cheeks. -A politician who cannot understand the taxpayer's weekly ritual of allocating what's left of America's pride and America's take-home pay after our government steals most of both from us. Actually, it's a shame that Jesse Ventura isn't running this time around.
I don't want to vote for any of the Republican or Democratic candidates. Somehow, casting a vote, even to try to keep the worst ones out of office, is "selling my soul," i.e., lending credence to a process and representatives which are totally corrupt. Obviously, it simply doesn't matter whether we pick the sex perverts, the billionaire businessmen, the One-World-Government freaks or any of the druggies, whether they inhale or not, we will get exactly the same kind of representation; politicians who swear to uphold the Constitution then spend their political careers destroying the Constitution, morality and the individual liberties of Americans. I refuse to pretend that any of these goons has a right to destroy my country by casting a vote. It isn't apathy, it's disgust.
The bunny is really the ONLY choice!
BACK TO INDEX
1) We understand that you have a drinking problem - can you comment? -March, 2000
ONYX: Absolutely! With all the ugly mudslinging we've had during the past month, I'd like to get this matter out in the open. Unlike most bunnies, I was taken away from my parents when I was only two weeks old. My mother never had the chance to teach me how to lap water from a bowl. Tag says that I sound like a berserker plumber's helper when I'm swilling from my bowl. Although I do believe that I can represent America better than the other candidates, I'm happy to share this fault about myself. Klingons may appreciate my drinking problem but the Japanese might be a bit offended by it.
2) Are you prejudiced against black, tan, white or gray people? -March, 2000
ONYX: Since I'm a black bunny myself, I expect that your question refers to prejudice of any kind. An interesting thing about young bunnies is that they don't realize that a white bunny, gray bunny or any other color is really any different than their own until a grown-up bunny explains it to them. Children are the same as young bunnies. Prejudice is an excuse to blame a group of others for your own fears and inadequacies. It is unfortunate that many of our young Americans have used a perceived distinction between themselves and others to box other people into their circle of hate. This problem is more prevalent than it's ever been and I think that we're losing the war against hate.
BACK TO INDEX
3) Do you advocate stronger anti-hate laws? -March, 2000
ONYX: There are no laws which attempt to legislate morality of any kind that don't exacerbate the condition they are supposed to correct. It's also not the government's job to legislate thought control for our people, particularly since this government is of and by our people, not the other way around. The government can properly represent its people by not being "on-the-take," by demonstrating government leaders who respect and uphold every dot and comma of just law in the protection of individual rights and their own conduct while in office. Police are very important to a society. It doesn't take any time for youth to figure out that corrupt cops who operate outside the law they have sworn to represent are the foundation of a corrupt society where only the suckers respect any rules, and everyone else does whatever they can get by with just as the cops do. Honest police and honest politicians can set the best examples of moral conduct for young people. Anti-hate legislation in a diseased society only makes things worse.
4) Following the Columbine shootings, lots of students suggested allowing religious study in public schools again. Do you have any views on this? -March, 2000
ONYX: Some people still remember teachers, neighbors or others who imposed judgements against them while they were young. In the religious context, it can be horrifying to have a self-justified maniac claim to be empowered by God while condemning you for his/her judgements of your conduct or beliefs. That imposition is contrary to the imperatives of freedom of religion in our country. As it turns out, unless you allow freedom for all, no freedoms exist for anyone. Yet the Separation of Church and State was designed to prevent government from interfering with religious worship in any way. It didn't allow the Federal Government to prevent prayer groups from being formed in schools where these groups formed by their own volition. The rule very specifically states that in issues of religion, government is FORBIDDEN to make any regulations of any kind. That should indicate that the issue is entirely under control of the people within the school, and government will NEVER intercede in these matters. This directive of our foundational American law has been perverted by politicians.
A teenage student of Columbine High School cried to God, "God, how could you allow these school children to be killed?"
God replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm no longer allowed in American schools."
Public schools belong to the people. Their purpose is to provide a learning environment for students. It's not American government's prerogative to forbid religion as part of that process, but rather to encourage the greatest degree of development of all students, with incentive to learn provided by a just, moral and rewarding society for those who better themselves.
BACK TO INDEX
5) Thank you, Mr. Pres... I mean, Mr. Onyx. You are just a rabbit though; do you really believe that you can run for President of the United States? -March, 2000
ONYX: Even though I'm an exceptionally cute rabbit, my campaign headquarters has already had threats from the State of California regarding political solicitations of a "mythical character." I'm not Bugs or Micky or Pat Paulson, but rather a real bunny, native to the U.S.A. Furthermore, this campaign is as real as it gets, because the tremendous ripple of this campaign's little truths are tearing holes in the political lies and corruption which is on an unstoppable track unless real Americans get involved to demand more from our representation in government. Like Tag, apathy grips American voters, but once again, there are simply no choices available from the traditional, stinking plate of worthless candidates running on the Democratic and Republican tickets. My campaign is not intended to put a bunny rabbit into the President's office. I want to keep the lawyers and elitist thieves out of office and get a warm-blooded American in there instead. I want an American President who regards the sacrifice of many thousands of lives to build a country which is free and just for all, even for Teddy Kennedy and Billy Clinton. The Internet is a marvelous way for Americans to easily gain access to their representatives in government and insist on more than the pitiful Ivy League lawyer snob trash we've had as candidates.
This campaign's R&D hopefuls and the 1990s candidates represent the worst collection of scumbags I've ever seen in politics. With those choices, I expect the lowest American voter participation in the 2000 elections that this country has ever had. Americans should be SCREAMING at Washington, as well as their local governments, to provide something better than what we're getting.
6) Do you have any thoughts about Haider's resignation in Austria? -March, 2000
ONYX: Haider's party is still in power and his ambitious and loyal girl friend is running the party. If Bill Clinton, after impeachment, appointed Hillary as President yet still spent his days in the Oval Office, that situation would probably be an analogue to Haider's "resignation."
BACK TO INDEX
7) During the first week of May, an anonymous heckler accused Onyx of graham cracker addiction, beginning the G.C. Scandal, or CrackerGate. Can you answer this accusation? -May, 2000
SNICKERS GRUMP: I have been appointed to answer this. The question of snack addiction is a serious one with emotional entanglements. Years ago, I also had an insatiable fondness for raisins, and gained considerable girth due to continual begging for raisins. Face it, a 25lb dwarf rabbit is perhaps a bit too portly for comfort, but I perfected being really cute while holding my little front paws in the air and Tag's a real pushover for cute bunnies. Onyx does better than I ever imagined. He holds his ears back, he looks extremely wistful, sits there with the little black paws held up and the doey-eyed look and everything - poor Tag melts like a chocolate chip dropped in a cup of coffee and forks over the goodies every time. Face it, bunnies are irresistibly cute, which is why the English don't like rabbits. And Onyx is the finest panhandler of all time. He's already wider than he is long - we're trying to get him to lay off the graham crackers for his own good. Addiction is really a weakness in personal character. Tag has this disgusting thing for cigarettes himself. The smell hurts my delicate and sensitive nose. Yuck!
8) So you admit that Onyx is disgustingly FAT? -May, 2000
SNICKERS GRUMP: Disgusting? A bunny? We're talking about a black fuzzmonger who has the sweetest personality I've ever seen with a body like an overstuffed nerf ball. Besides, if the U.S. lawmakers have their way, words like "FAT" and "DISGUSTING" will become hate crimes, perhaps including most of the language by the time they are through. We're well on our way to "doublespeak," "thought crimes" and Big Brother's New World Order, Fahrenheit 451 and such, where nothing you say or think is legal. They don't need to kill Freedom of Speech - just make new "politically-correct" crimes and lock up whomever they want. You didn't think that George Orwell was mistaken, did you? Now on this Onyx thing, nearly everyone but a Britton falls in love with the little fellow immediately. So he's a bit soft around the middle. Tag is trying to run him up and down the stairwells a few times a day as an exercise program. It might help.
9) Have you published a "cutsie" old picture of your disgustingly fat candidate, and now you're covering up by denying the press access to show the public current pictures of Onyx? -May, 2000
SNICKERS GRUMP: We refused to debate the other candidates or to allow free media access to Onyx so that other candidates might have a slight chance, at least, of remaining in the Presidential race. The Republican and Democratic candidates would be hopelessly out-matched by the wits of our candidate, and we did not want to make them appear foolish at this stage of the campaign. As far as pictures, here is a photo taken today during Onyx's dignified lunch. He's very busy, and It's difficult to schedule a proper photo session for a publicity shot. Onyx enjoys fine dining, and we offer "pleasingly plump" rather than more derogatory terms to use for our candidate.
10) Is Onyx part of the new trend to adopt Virtual Personalities? -May, 2000
ONYX: Our campaign has a specific and clear goal. The Onyx for President Campaign is a protest against America's two-party political system and their tired and demoralizing offering of candidates who do not and cannot represent America's working citizen. The two parties have been troweling out a stream of these genetically-defective, spoiled, rich goons, and America deserves something better. Every one of these candidates presents a voter dilemma as Americans fight in terror to keep out the candidate who will destroy personal rights of our people and our country's strengths and promises faster than the other candidate. Americans no longer vote for a candidate, they try to vote against the greater evil. Our campaign is to DEMAND SOMETHING BETTER! Virtualpath's Virtual Presidential Candidate, me, is far better than anything offered this year by the two-party system in America.
Unlike Jackie Strike created by Christopher Goold, I am real, warm, fuzzy and passionate. Virtualpath also does not resent more candidates appearing in the race, as long as the message gets through - DEMAND SOMETHING BETTER! People are desperate for representation they can relate to. If a computer character is more realistic than our two mainstream candidates, then perhaps that irony will change our political candidates in the future.
11) What changes will Onyx make as President? -May, 2000
ONYX: There will be many answers to that question, but I have a few at this time... How about, no more snacks for staffers in the Oral Office? Oops! - That's not nice! How about not renting out the Lincoln Bedroom to the highest bidders? Upholding the Constitution? Compelling Federal officials to tell the TRUTH - not trying to manipulate Americans by having government agencies use terms like "harming consumers" to justify acts of oppression when the government itself is about to cause $trillions of damage to the economy. Truth, I think. A Federal agency that tells unmanipulative truth to the public as standard policy will frighten Americans at first, since it's unheard of, but they'll get used to it. Won't people be shocked to realize that the government suddenly is for and by the people?
BACK TO INDEX
This campaign list will be updated with current news as it happens. Keep track of the ONYX FOR PRESIDENT campaign here, on the Campaign Headquarters Official Lapin Party Website.
Paid for by the Onyx For President Campaign Fund, Registered Lagomorph (Lapin) Party
Snickers Grump, Campaign Director 2000, 2001