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"Protecting Freedom Is Our Business" - Mayor Stagg

- Attention All Citizens -
DO NOT PANIC! Your chances of being in a terrorist situation yourself, or having a family member tortured and raped or killed in a terrorist attack, are less than 50/50. Meanwhile, your government is working 24/7 to protect you. We never stop fighting for your freedom. Citizens should complete their normal routine, and support Rocky City's terrorist-fighting efforts and policies.
Terrorism In These Troubled Times

What does a Fear Alert warning mean? The new Rocky City Terrorism Bureau is composed of mulitiple, coordinated departments to detect and neutralize threats against citizens. A new department, the Office of Quality Media Reporting and Freedom of Speech, is empowered through the Media Free Speech Compliance Act of 2004, a new law that prevents terrorist journalists from issuing disturbing news on city broadcast channels and radio stations. This new department is also responsible for providing the same quantity of newpaper, radio and television news to you as before the Act took effect, thereby meeting our goal of not interfering with First Amendment Rights of our people.

The colored Fear Alert level is a signal to city officials to take specific actions to protect your security. You need not fear - we have prevented many dangers from reaching our citizens, and will continue to do so.

We greatly thank Mayor Stagg for his leadership in protecting the safety of our citizens.

Stagg's War on Terrorism

"In spite of our recent victories, the War on Terorrism in our great City is far from over," Mayor Stagg said at a diplomatic conference on Wednesday. "We must not let the agents of evil again establish their axis of evil to threaten the freedom of our citizens."
Mayor Stagg's new counter-terrorism measures include 17,492 new laws signed into effect under his Emergency Powers authority since 9/11.
Combined with the in-home monitoring systems of the Water Closet Inspections Bureau, seven hundred and fifty two new secret agencies are charged with maintaining vigilant watch on any suspected terrorist. If a terrorist threat is identified by the overall coordinator of the City's new Total Information systems, Westley Stagg, they can be either terminated immediately or detained as war criminals without legal representation. Three hundred twenty five individuals are currently detained under these provisions, including two former mayors, a former police chief, one mayor of a town recently annexed by Rocky City who was previously married to the woman who Stagg is currently living with, seventy two former candidates for office within Rocky City including the mayor hopeful who ran against Stagg during the last election ten years ago, and various other individuals who are a threat to our free society in these troubled times.
"We cannot afford a reactive stance on terrorism," Mayor Stagg declared. "We must come down hard on these threats to our freedom before they can harm us, not after the damage is done. We also cannot afford to risk our freedom by delays like Due Process for criminal prosecution or partisan bickering in the legislature to make laws we need to protect our citizens. "
Citizen's Forum
S.K.P. City Collections Dept,: "Me and my kids put one of those signs on the front door. I wouldn't want to raise a family nowhere else but Rocky City. Mayor Stagg is spending a thousand bucks against terrorism for every dime that any place else is putting into it. We feel safe, and we're happy to call the Water Closet agents when we see someone who maybe don't belong around here or looks funny or owes me money or something. There's cops everywhere, so it's easy to find one anytime"



Citizens are advised to prepare to secure their homes in event of possible terrorist attack. Signs displaying "Protected by Rocky City Government" for your front door are available to anyone showing I.D. and residency at the Town Hall. Let the terrorists know that R.C.'s police are trusted to defend your home!
The City will be offsetting the cost of plastic sheeting and duct tape for all citizens at all Fragg Hardware Stores throughout Rocky City and outlying areas until further notice.
All costs for City-authorized expenses for materials of this type will be tax deductable on your Rocky City tax return.

GET YOUR OWN Protected By Rocky City Security Forces DOOR SIGN HERE

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